NOT A DAY GOES BY.......

Seven years ago today, I lost my best friend/sister, Shannette Perkins Elijah.  She was an amazing person and a loving mother.  We had a friendship that began when we were 9 years old and will last eternally.  Our friendship is a great example of many of the things that I speak on all the time.  We didn't always agree on things and there were times when we would argue and/or get mad with one another.  However, we never loved one another any less.  There were periods when we were too busy to talk to each other on a daily basis but when we did it was as if nothing had changed.  There was never a time that she needed me that I didn't come to her aid and vice versa.  We loved one another and no matter what happened we knew that and we always let that guide our friendship.  We had so much fun together, there was never a dull moment and there was never any jealousy or competition.  We never felt indifferent about friends that we obtained along the way because we knew that nothing would ever come between what she and I shared and even in death, this holds true.  I have other friends whom I love with all my heart and consider my sisters but she remains in her special place in my heart.  It is so amazing to me that after 7 years, it still hasn't got any easier.  TO CONTINUE READING, CLICK THE FOLLOWING LINK.  http://www.phatgirlfresh.com/#!fresh-life/cute

P.H.A.T GIRL CLIQUE

I know that all of you have been seeing my post about being a part of the P.H.A.T GIRL CLIQUE.  It has been brought to my attention that some of you are not totally clear on what being a part of the group entails.  The P.H.A.T GIRL CLIQUE is a diverse group of positive, confident women. The intent is to work within your communities to enrich and empower other women and girls. Don't let the name fool you, the group is a sisterhood.  Although it was birthed from Bigmama's Clothing, it is not restricted to just plus size women.  Any woman who wants to help change the lives of others and give unselfishly is more than welcome.  If you become and member and desire to start an entire chapter, we will work with you to do so. This is a service sisterhood and just as our goal is to be of service to others, we will do the same for one another.   

As a plus size woman, I know that many women and girls (especially plus sized) struggle with self-esteem, body image and other issues.  They are not strong and bold enough be happy with who they are in the face of society.  This really makes me sad but I know the feeling all to well.  As a woman we bare a lot of the worlds burdens but we are never granted the empathy that we deserve.  As the mother's of this universe we are expected to nurture and be strong no matter what.  However, the reality is that is not always the case.  There is an entire generation of daughters who have yet to find their joy.  They are ashamed of who they are because of the reality of their existence.  Things like skin color, hair texture, weight and height should never make them ashamed of who they are, but it does.   As we have heard many times, we must be our sister's keeper and it takes a village to raise a child, so we must take action.  In order to help our sisters and the next generation, we must act now.  God has not given us all of the strength and boldness not to be of service to his people.  It doesn't matter what your religion or race is, we are all committed to service, and we are all connected as sisters. 

Being a part of the group is simple, there are no monetary requirements although once the board has been completely assembled we may ask you to purchase your gear so that we can represent (our clique).  However, I promise you it will be less than $20.  We are still in the planning stages but the foundation has been laid.  The board is already being formed and paperwork is being drawn up. Program coordinators are being contacted.  We have members from New York to Canada all the way down to Georgia and across to California, making stops in both Alabama and Texas.  I am asking that all interested ladies send me a bio and a photo because we need to build a member portfolio.  The photo's will also be used for the website, blog and other advertising.  I will make it a habit of making you ladies aware of any major decisions that are being made as I want all of us to build this into something greater than we ever imagined.  If you have suggestions or ideas, pleases don't hesitate to contact me, I will be listing all of my information below.  Also, many of the members are members of a Facebook group called Full Figured Fly and Fabulous, so if you would like to get to know some of the other sisters, please check the page out.  THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

bigmamaclothing@gmail.com is the email for bio and pics
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/maui.bigelow
https://www.facebook.com/BigmamasClothing
twitter
https://twitter.com/MSB_PLEZ
https://twitter.com/PHAT_GIRL_FRESH
Instagram
http://instagram.com/msb_plez/
http://instagram.com/bigmamas_clothing
Blogger
http://phatgirlfresh.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/FFFnFAB/

THE SOUL OF SISTERS

I was watching Oprah's Life Classes with Iyanla Vanzant this past Sunday and I was moved.  They were examining the relationships that women have with one another. They were shining light on the reason women are so hard on one another.  I must say that I was immediately able to identy with every thing that they were speaking one.  Now I would be a liar(which I am not), if I told you that I had not been the aggressor in many situations in my life time.  I have gossiped, I have been mean, I have competed and even been petty.  I have also been the victim. Which really tied into the fact that, "EVERYTHING WE PUT OUT INTO THE UNIVERSE AT SOME POINT RETURNS TO US".  My question as an adult woman who sees her flaws, faults and knows better is, how do we stop the cycle? How do we begin to respect one another as women? 

Like I said before, I have been both victim and aggressor in these type situations.  Honestly I only in recent years begin to see the error of my ways.  I have always been this strong willed person.  Even when I fell victim to mean girls.  During middle/high school, I was not at all the most popular.  I was physically more mature than other girls my age.  Although I had nice clothes, my mom didn't allow us to wear many of the things other girls wore.  Yeah, I got to go places and do things but there were major restrictions.  All of these things made me a target.  However, honestly I never cared. I was comfortable with who I was and I never aspired to be anyone different. 

I guess because my mother instilled certain things in my, I was always this strong uncompromising person.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned that comprise isn't all bad.  My mom always taught me to, "talk two time talk", meaning if you say it once be prepared to say it again.  Now I have lived by that all my life but the reality is, even though you say it again, you can still be wrong.  I have always known I was pretty but I have down talked or competed with others.  Maybe I did it because I wasnt happy with my body.  Maybe it was because I wanted something that the next sister had. Maybe, I didn't feel she deserved what she had.  Whatever the reason...... I did it.  I learned at a young age, that you dont have to be friends with everyone you come in contact with but, did I have to be mean?  The answer is no, but many times I was.  Not thinking about my sister's feelings, only knowing that I wasnt willing to compromise what I felt. 

I know that I give my mother credit for much  of my character, but in no way am I speaking negatively of the roots and wings she gave me.  What I am saying is I used the strength, knowledge and life tools she equipped me with in the wrong way on occasions.  I guess that is what she meant when she said, "I tell you things so you will have a good start up but eventually you will use that to come into your own".  While coming into my own I guess I begin to conform to societies norm. 

It has become a fact that women don't work well together.  Anytime there is a group of women, the likeliness that drama, gossiping and competition will arise is great.  I think that it is sad that women are unable to have the freedom to connect the way men do.  Yeah men have issues with one another but not to the extent that women do.  Why are the souls of sisters so heavy?  Why do we feel the need to rip one another apart?  Why can't we all be great, and appreciate the greatness in one another? 

P.H.A.T GIRL FRIDAY

Well once again it is P.H.A.T GIRL FRIDAY!! Although it has been a while, nothing has changed.  Today is the official end of the work week and a time when most of us have a little free time.  For those of you who don't have designated free time.......MAKE SOME!!! It is extremely important that we capture a moment for ourselves because happiness and peace of mind are essential. 

As women, we wear so many hats; mother, mate, friend, teacher, maid, daughter........... All of these hats require us to go in many directions.  Our moods and mannerisms are forced to move back and forth like pieces on a chess board.  It is enough to drive you CRAZY!! Which is why, finding and maintaining your own happiness is key.  Like I always say, "if mama ain't happy....... Ain't nobody happy". 

One great relaxer is girls time.  Get a few of your homegirls together, mix a few "adult drinks" and do whatever(watch movies, listen to music, talk ish, play with hair and make-up......WHATEVER).  One of my new favorite mixed drinks is a pink lemonade vodka made by Wave.  Eventhough it is already mixed, it has a bit of a kick, so I mix it with peach lemonade by calypso........... DELICIOUS!!!!!  After one or two of those, you will be ready for whatever, and I do mean WHATEVER!!! I know it always livens things up.

Any way, enjoy your weekend and be blessed!