HOUSE OF CURVES

“The peplum is the perfect piece for a woman with a bottom stomach………” stated Kenyatta.  This phrase alone allowed me to give WEtv’s House of Curves my stamp of approval.  The show spotlights the life of Kenyatta Jones as a designer on an expedition to make her brand Bella Rene’ a household name.  Yeah I know we have seen this show concept a couple of times but never from this angle.  Bella Rene’ is a brand that caters to woman who are curvy, plus size, full figured or whatever we choose to call ourselves.  To read this entire blog, click the link  below http://www.phatgirlfresh.com/#!fresh-life/cute

Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola

“A woman cannot make the culture more aware by saying ‘Change.’ But she can change her own attitude toward herself, thereby causing devaluing projections to glance off. She does this by taking back her body. By not forsaking the joy of her natural body, by not purchasing the popular illusion that happiness is only bestowed on those of a certain configuration or age, by not waiting or holding back to do anything, and by taking back her real life, and living it full bore, all stops out. This dynamic self-acceptance and self-esteem are what begins to change attitudes in the culture. To read the entire post click the link below

http://www.phatgirlfresh.com/#!fresh-life/cute

BAG LADY

It is so important that woman learn not to be bag ladies.  Many of us tend to carry the baggage of our men, family and friends.  When we aren't carrying that baggage, we are carrying the baggage of the past. It doesn't matter what type of woman you are or from what social status you hail............... WE HAVE ALL HAD SOME SORT OF BAGGAGE!!!!  Many women who consider themselves "classy and/or high dollar" tend to think that their struggle is different from the common woman.  However, it is not!!! BAGGAGE IS BAGGAGE, WHETHER IT IS IN A GUCCI BAG OR A PAPER BAG.... Baggage will do one of two things or both.  It will either SLOW YOU DOWN OR WEIGH YOU DOWN!!!

 I myself and one of those women that carries a lot of other peoples baggage.  I am a very caring and concerned person when it comes to my loved ones.  Many times I get entangled in their lives and their problems.  I am working very hard to bring this to a minimum because it is damaging.  I have lost
connections with a few key people because of this.  It isn't that I am nosy or controlling but I want the best for them.  I just want to help my loved ones.  I want them to be as happy as I am if not happier.  However, I have learned that it isn't my job nor am I capable of doing this. I have learned that you have to let people find their own peace in whatever situation they are in.  You can not create happiness for those that you love.........  Happiness comes with the security and comfort that each individual finds with themselves.   People evolve in their own time, not the time that we want them to.  Hell, If you spend too much time worrying about what they have going on, you will neglect your star player................. You!!!  So now when people come to me with issues, I listen and give advice but I don't get all entangled in it.........  As a friend my job is to be there for them no matter what, not to take over the situation and solve the problem.

We all know that God created women to be nurtures and we are very emotional as well.  This is why many times we find ourselves fighting battles that are not ours, especially with the men in our lives.  Often men use the caring nature of some women to their advantage.  They latch on to women that are "good" and that will be good to them.  Men come with baggage, drama and an assortment of issues just like woman.  Many times they enter into relationships or situations with women knowing that their affairs are in total disarray.  And because we (woman) are such nurturing creatures, we put it in our bag......... All that baby mama drama, the woos of not being able to find a job, not having the money needed for certain things, family issues, friend issues, illegal activities............................. AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!!!!  We have to learn when to say when.  It is one thing to support your man but it is another to carry all of his burdens. Be mindful about loading your bag up with his shit because you may get stuck with it all.  I mean honestly what can you expect from a man that enters into a relationship with bags and bags of bullshit? 

Often it is hard for woman to be happy because of the baggage that they carry from the past.  You can not hold an individual accountable for the actions of another.  You have to learn from each experience that you have and move on when it is time.  This holds true for both friendships and relationships.  I know that I have opted out of being friends with co-worker and other females for years.  For no reason other than the fact that I have had bad experiences with a great number of woman.  Now that I think about it, that is baggage from my past too.  The same thing holds true for relationships...... You can not enter into a relationship placing your new man under the same umbrella that your old men are under.  If you want to find true happiness, you have to let go of your past.  Your past can and will haunt you if you allow it to.  All of that baggage will keep you from being happy with yourself.  All that baggage will make you unlovable.  All of that baggage will cost you friends and family.  Most of all, I will take away your peace.

WOMAN WE ARE POWERFUL BEINGS AND IT IS IMPORTANT THAT WE ACT AS SUCH.  NOTHING AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE THE POWER TO SLOW US DOWN AND/ OR HOLD US DOWN.  IF IT IS SOMEONE ELSE'S TRASH, IT WILL NEVER BE YOUR TREASURE!!!  WHETHER IT IS A GUCCI BAG OR A PAPER BAG, EMPTY THAT SHIT...... YOUR BACK WILL THANK YOU!!

BUILDING A BRAND

  THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!  DESIGNING, STYLING AND WRITING ALL WITH THE GOAL OF ENCOURAGING AND EMPOWERING OTHERS.  I AM WORKING TOWARDS BUILDING A BRAND BASED ON THE DREAMS AND REALITIES OF MYSELF AND OTHER WOMEN LIKE ME.  THE GOAL IS TO EXHIBIT THE BEAUTY AND STYLE THAT FULL FIGURED WOMEN/GIRLS ARE EQUIP WITH.  TO ENCOURAGE WOMEN NOT TO BE DEFINED BY THERE WEIGHT OR CONFINED TO THE BOX THE SOCIETY PLACES US IN.  TO TRANSFORM THE BASHFUL INTO BOLD AND BUILD CONFIDENCE WHERE SELF ESTEEM IS LOW.  I WANT TO DESIGN AND STYLE THE CLOTHING THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES.  I WANT TO MOTIVATE CURVY DIVAS TO LIVE SO LOUD THAT PEOPLE NEED EARPLUGS TO BE IN OUR PRESENCE.  IF I NEVER SELL ANOTHER ARTICLE OF CLOTHING, OR SEW ANOTHER STITCH, MY SOUL WILL REJOICE IF I HELP OTHERS TO LOVE THEMSELVES.  YES, I WANT TO BUILD A BRAND, I WANT P.H.A.T GIRL FRESH TO BE A PHRASE SPOKE IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD BUT MORE THAN THAT, I WANT TO REBUILD THE PLUS SIZE COMMUNITY...........

P.H.A.T GIRL CLIQUE

I know that all of you have been seeing my post about being a part of the P.H.A.T GIRL CLIQUE.  It has been brought to my attention that some of you are not totally clear on what being a part of the group entails.  The P.H.A.T GIRL CLIQUE is a diverse group of positive, confident women. The intent is to work within your communities to enrich and empower other women and girls. Don't let the name fool you, the group is a sisterhood.  Although it was birthed from Bigmama's Clothing, it is not restricted to just plus size women.  Any woman who wants to help change the lives of others and give unselfishly is more than welcome.  If you become and member and desire to start an entire chapter, we will work with you to do so. This is a service sisterhood and just as our goal is to be of service to others, we will do the same for one another.   

As a plus size woman, I know that many women and girls (especially plus sized) struggle with self-esteem, body image and other issues.  They are not strong and bold enough be happy with who they are in the face of society.  This really makes me sad but I know the feeling all to well.  As a woman we bare a lot of the worlds burdens but we are never granted the empathy that we deserve.  As the mother's of this universe we are expected to nurture and be strong no matter what.  However, the reality is that is not always the case.  There is an entire generation of daughters who have yet to find their joy.  They are ashamed of who they are because of the reality of their existence.  Things like skin color, hair texture, weight and height should never make them ashamed of who they are, but it does.   As we have heard many times, we must be our sister's keeper and it takes a village to raise a child, so we must take action.  In order to help our sisters and the next generation, we must act now.  God has not given us all of the strength and boldness not to be of service to his people.  It doesn't matter what your religion or race is, we are all committed to service, and we are all connected as sisters. 

Being a part of the group is simple, there are no monetary requirements although once the board has been completely assembled we may ask you to purchase your gear so that we can represent (our clique).  However, I promise you it will be less than $20.  We are still in the planning stages but the foundation has been laid.  The board is already being formed and paperwork is being drawn up. Program coordinators are being contacted.  We have members from New York to Canada all the way down to Georgia and across to California, making stops in both Alabama and Texas.  I am asking that all interested ladies send me a bio and a photo because we need to build a member portfolio.  The photo's will also be used for the website, blog and other advertising.  I will make it a habit of making you ladies aware of any major decisions that are being made as I want all of us to build this into something greater than we ever imagined.  If you have suggestions or ideas, pleases don't hesitate to contact me, I will be listing all of my information below.  Also, many of the members are members of a Facebook group called Full Figured Fly and Fabulous, so if you would like to get to know some of the other sisters, please check the page out.  THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

bigmamaclothing@gmail.com is the email for bio and pics
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/maui.bigelow
https://www.facebook.com/BigmamasClothing
twitter
https://twitter.com/MSB_PLEZ
https://twitter.com/PHAT_GIRL_FRESH
Instagram
http://instagram.com/msb_plez/
http://instagram.com/bigmamas_clothing
Blogger
http://phatgirlfresh.blogspot.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/FFFnFAB/

THE SOUL OF SISTERS

I was watching Oprah's Life Classes with Iyanla Vanzant this past Sunday and I was moved.  They were examining the relationships that women have with one another. They were shining light on the reason women are so hard on one another.  I must say that I was immediately able to identy with every thing that they were speaking one.  Now I would be a liar(which I am not), if I told you that I had not been the aggressor in many situations in my life time.  I have gossiped, I have been mean, I have competed and even been petty.  I have also been the victim. Which really tied into the fact that, "EVERYTHING WE PUT OUT INTO THE UNIVERSE AT SOME POINT RETURNS TO US".  My question as an adult woman who sees her flaws, faults and knows better is, how do we stop the cycle? How do we begin to respect one another as women? 

Like I said before, I have been both victim and aggressor in these type situations.  Honestly I only in recent years begin to see the error of my ways.  I have always been this strong willed person.  Even when I fell victim to mean girls.  During middle/high school, I was not at all the most popular.  I was physically more mature than other girls my age.  Although I had nice clothes, my mom didn't allow us to wear many of the things other girls wore.  Yeah, I got to go places and do things but there were major restrictions.  All of these things made me a target.  However, honestly I never cared. I was comfortable with who I was and I never aspired to be anyone different. 

I guess because my mother instilled certain things in my, I was always this strong uncompromising person.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned that comprise isn't all bad.  My mom always taught me to, "talk two time talk", meaning if you say it once be prepared to say it again.  Now I have lived by that all my life but the reality is, even though you say it again, you can still be wrong.  I have always known I was pretty but I have down talked or competed with others.  Maybe I did it because I wasnt happy with my body.  Maybe it was because I wanted something that the next sister had. Maybe, I didn't feel she deserved what she had.  Whatever the reason...... I did it.  I learned at a young age, that you dont have to be friends with everyone you come in contact with but, did I have to be mean?  The answer is no, but many times I was.  Not thinking about my sister's feelings, only knowing that I wasnt willing to compromise what I felt. 

I know that I give my mother credit for much  of my character, but in no way am I speaking negatively of the roots and wings she gave me.  What I am saying is I used the strength, knowledge and life tools she equipped me with in the wrong way on occasions.  I guess that is what she meant when she said, "I tell you things so you will have a good start up but eventually you will use that to come into your own".  While coming into my own I guess I begin to conform to societies norm. 

It has become a fact that women don't work well together.  Anytime there is a group of women, the likeliness that drama, gossiping and competition will arise is great.  I think that it is sad that women are unable to have the freedom to connect the way men do.  Yeah men have issues with one another but not to the extent that women do.  Why are the souls of sisters so heavy?  Why do we feel the need to rip one another apart?  Why can't we all be great, and appreciate the greatness in one another? 

BEAUTIFUL YOU

It really saddens me that some of the most beautiful people second guess themselves because of others.  Just because others see you differently doesn't make you any less fabulous.  Society is set up to make us feel as though we have to be perfect but no one is.  No one will ever be blessed enough to be excepted fully by everyone.  No matter who you please, in spite of who embraces your talent and beauty, there will be someone who has an issue.  Since this is our reality, why not cut the middle men(women) out and opt to just be happy on your own terms.  Except the reality of your existence and be as fabulous as God intended for you to be.

I know that people see me as this strong, confident, beautiful intelligent woman(well that what I have been told).  However, I have not always been this way.  I went through a period in which I thought I was ugly, fat and unworthy of any thing great.  I felt as though I had no purpose. I literally had to learn to love myself.  I had to come to terms with the reality of my existence.  I had to stand face to face with myself.  I know that sounds easy but it is not.  In no way is it easy to dissect yourself, but that is exactly what I did.  I opened myself up and extracted both the good and the bad and then analyzed it.  Some of the things that I thought were bad were good, and some of the things I thought were good were bad.  Of course the good needed no adjusting but the bad had to be reckoned with.  Why was I  mean?  Why was I a fighter?  Why was I depressed?  Why was I sad? What I came up with was probably the same thing many of you would come up with if you did the same.... It is not you that has made you second guess yourself, it is society.  

Society has made us believe so many lies and these lies ultimately tear us down.  You know what I mean..........  if you aren't a size 3 you are fat, and if you are fat you are worthless.  If you don't look a certain way, you are ugly or if you don't have certain material items you are irrelevant. However, as I said before, these are all lies!!!  You don't have to conform to be beautiful, all you have to do is BE.

Stop letting others make you feel like your not whatever it is that you know you are.  If you know that you are a beautiful, intelligent person, be that person.  Be bold about who you are and what you possess.
If you aren't proud, appreciative or in tune with who are, you can't live...... You just exist.  Life is so much happier when you live out loud.  Society my have its standards but when you say to the world; this is me, I make no apologies or excuses for who I am, I love that person that I see in the mirror and I am not going away, the world had two options. The first option is to see you for who you are and love you.  The second is remain ignorant and closed minded and respect you. 

So with all of that being said, in spite of your imperfections....... YOU BETTA WERK!!!  Stut as if you are a peacock!! Let the world know, I am here, I am beautiful and I refuse to be denied!!! 

Letter to Keke Dillard

Hello Keke, I am writing this in response to your facebook post about the plus size community(https://www.facebook.com/kekedillard?ref=t).  I really appreciate you going there and putting that information out there.  I have been doing my own research and I can say that everything that you stated in your post is factual.  I am a blogger and I am also in the process of opening a boutique in my area, both aimed at plus size woman.  Although I write because it is one of my passions along with fashion, it doesn't always seem promising. My Big-Mama blog is all about and for us(PHAT GIRLS) many times I feel like I am my audience.  My reasoning is that if I am able to write something that will reach, help or inspire one of my plus size sister's, I will be happy and the same goes with fashion.  I think that the problem is that most of the PHAT GIRLS (affectionately used to identify plus size women, by me) have allowed society and it's views get the best of them.  The sad part is that we are hurting ourselves and our kind to please the minority.................

Society has painted this picture of greed and filth and associated it with being plus sized.  We are thought to not have self control. It is said that we are less beautiful than other woman, and are less deserving of love and a good mate. It is thought that we should have to settle for the scraps when it comes to romance.   We are not at all healthy and have no value of life.  We (society) tell our children not to be fat as though it is the same as being a thief or a murderer.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "yes she is pretty, but she is fat" or, "you have a pretty face", I would be rich.  I guess in hearing these things so much, many woman have begin to believe them instead of the truth.  The truth is, bad health is housed in the bodies of both fat and slim woman.  A person's beauty has nothing to do with their size or  face for that matter, it is about who you are on the inside.  Men (real men) are not effected by a woman's size as much as he is her character, personality and intelligence.    We are just as great as any other woman, but each individual PHAT GIRL HAS TO BELIEVE THAT!!!!

Until PHAT GIRLS learn to except the realities of their existence, we will always be on the low end of the totem pole.  The fact is plus size businesses aren't successful because so many PHAT GIRLS are ashamed of who they are.  In a way I think that many PHAT GIRLS feel that supporting "BIG" business means you are OK with being the person that society says we are, which is not true.  We are not that ugly picture at all!!!!  However, the only way to prove them wrong is to embrace who you truly are and not who they have falsely made you out to be.  It is OK to have a desire to be healthy(if you are unhealthy) or to lose weight but no matter what your size is love you and identify with what lies beneath.

Keke, for the past year, I have been trying to start a PHAT GIRL MOVEMENT, because the need is so great.  I am a big bold woman, and it pains me to know that so many of my PHAT GIRLS are afraid to declare the same thing.  I just don't know what give them the right to not be BOLD, FIERCE AND PROUD OF EVERY OUNCE OF THEMSELVES.  I come in contact with so many woman who are waiting to lose weight so that they can get that new hair style, dress up and even go out and have fun.  I try to tell them your size isn't restricting you, you lack of love and confidence for yourself is.  Most PHAT GIRLS are their own worst enemy. I mean really, if you were bold and didn't believe in yourself, do you think the investor would have?  I think not!!!!  It is our duty as bold, beautiful intelligent PHAT GIRLS, to stand up and be heard.  We have to continue to encourage and empower our sisters to love themselves and make no apologies for who they are.

YOU ROCK!!

I have been sitting on this blog for a while for personal reasons, but I am officially ready to unleash.  I know that many people do a lot of bandwagon jumping when different events take place, and I did not want to be one of those people.  However, I have such a strong message attached to the movement.  Now that some of the hype has died down....I am ready to break my silence.  Well let me start by saying that the entire Black Girls Rock movement is great!!!  I think that it is important to continuously applaud and encourage the efforts of our young girls.  However there are so many others who ROCK and who need the same push.  People need to learn to love themselves and identify with what makes them ROCK.  I say it all the time, God created us all with purpose, with that purpose and hard work, we can all ROCK .  I know that all of us aren't bold and out going.  Some of us need that extra push or encouragement, and some are halted by fear.  These things are the reasons I am writing this blog.  


I just think that the Black Girls Rock! movement is amazing and very needed.  Our youth need to know how important and appreciated they are.  Honestly, I think that this holds true for so many people, not just black girls.     White girlS, Black boys, White boys, Men and Women of all races, ages and sizes.  We all need to be encouraged and made to feel important at some point.  There are a lot of people who work hard to make others smile, to make sure that things go and happen the way that they should and all they want is a pat on the back.  Although we all should be aware of our gifts and abilities, some people need to be reminded that they ROCK!!!


Let me tell you, God created us all with purpose and we have been given gift(s).  However, it is up to you to use what you are given.  You may not always have a fan club or cheerleaders, it is up to you to know that you ROCK!!  In order for you to know that you ROCK, you have to identify with why you ROCK!!!  Your positive attitude, your loving nature, your beauty, your compassion for others, all of these things and many others are why you ROCK!!!  What it is important to know is that your situation nor your circumstances make you and they can't break you unless you allow them to.  Many of you know exactly why you ROCK but you allow fear to paralyze you.  As long as you step into the waters, the fear of drowning no longer controls you no matter what happens from that point on.  The devil and all the naysayers want you to let fear control you.  They want you to believe that you don't ROCK.  They want you to give up on God's promise, but you got to keep it moving!!!


YOU ROCK!!!  AND I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH!!  TAP INTO YOU GREATNESS AND MAKE YOUR MEANINGFUL IMPACT ON THE WORLD......................  WE ARE WAITING!!! AND IF NO ONE ELSE TELLS YOU.........................YOU ROCK!!!!!

WHO ARE YOU

It took me a long time to come to terms with the person that I am.  I thought that so many irrelevant things defined who I was, things like clothing, other materialistic goods and even other people.  I was so wrapped up in what others thought until I privately begin to embrace the person that people said I was. I was wasting so much time embracing a person that didn't exist instead of loving who this body housed.  In the midst of all this, I learned something very valuable, there is a big difference between embracing something and loving it.  When you embrace something, you take hold of it.  You hold it close to you, for whatever reason but that doesn't mean you love it.  Now when you love something, you have profound feelings for it, you have the strongest form of affection for it.  You can embrace something and not love it, with ease but it is hard to love without embracing it.   When I was embracing the person others said I was, I was not at all loving the true me.  It took me going through life trials to begin to truly love and embrace the real me.  I literally looked in the mirror one day and asked myself, "WHO ARE YOU".  I then made a list of all of the characteristics that I possessed and begin to exhibit those things.  Yes I was talked, laughed at and lied on, hell I still am.  However, now that I know who I am............. I could care less!!!

So I ask you my full figured diva's, who are you?  Are you that fat insecure chick that is willing to settle?  Are you less of a woman because you have more to love?  Are you just a waste of a pretty face?  Are you some lazy heifer sitting around letting the world pass you by?  WHO ARE YOU?  I will tell you who you are, you are that person that lives within you.  That smart, intelligent, fun loving, kind, important person.  You are not those wide hips, big boobs and butt, but you should love them because they are a part of you.  Never allow others to define who you are because they are probably defining what they see instead of who you are.  Do you know how many people seem to be one thing but are really something totally different? I will tell, millions!!!   Looks are deceiving, so let your actions define you.  

WELCOME

HELLO TO ALL OF YOU.  I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS BLOG, BECAUSE IT IS NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART.  THIS IS A PLACE OF COMFORT, ENCOURAGEMENT AND HAPPINESS FOR ALL MY PLUS SIZED SISTERS/DIVA'S.  THE GOAL IS TO TOUCH ON ANY SUBJECTS THAT YOU DEEM NECESSARY.  I WILL BE PROVIDING YOU WITH MY EMAIL ADDRESS SO THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO CONTACT ME ON A MORE PERSONAL AND PRIVATE LEVEL.  I AM VERY BOLD, OUTSPOKEN AND HONEST BUT I KNOW THAT EVERY WOMEN IS NOT LIKE THAT, SO IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING AND TO WRITE ABOUT IT PRIVATELY, I WILL DO SO.  I REALLY WANT AS MUCH FEED BACK AS I CAN, SO PLEASE COMMENT!!!   I LOVE BEING A WOMAN, AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE BEING A PLUS SIZED WOMAN, BECAUSE IT REQUIRES EXTRA OF EVERYTHING!!!!  I WANT OTHER WOMEN LIKE ME TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE THE SAME BEAUTY AS ANY OTHER WOMAN AND ARE JUST AS VALUABLE.  


I WILL ALSO BE GIVING BEAUTY TIPS, SPOTLIGHTING COMPANIES AND SERVICES.  HOWEVER, ANY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE USED FOR THE UP BUILDING OF YOU.  NEVER FEEL AFRAID OR SHY ABOUT ADDRESSING ANY ISSUE, THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR....................BIGMAMACLOTHING@GMAIL.COM