Letter to Keke Dillard

Hello Keke, I am writing this in response to your facebook post about the plus size community(https://www.facebook.com/kekedillard?ref=t).  I really appreciate you going there and putting that information out there.  I have been doing my own research and I can say that everything that you stated in your post is factual.  I am a blogger and I am also in the process of opening a boutique in my area, both aimed at plus size woman.  Although I write because it is one of my passions along with fashion, it doesn't always seem promising. My Big-Mama blog is all about and for us(PHAT GIRLS) many times I feel like I am my audience.  My reasoning is that if I am able to write something that will reach, help or inspire one of my plus size sister's, I will be happy and the same goes with fashion.  I think that the problem is that most of the PHAT GIRLS (affectionately used to identify plus size women, by me) have allowed society and it's views get the best of them.  The sad part is that we are hurting ourselves and our kind to please the minority.................

Society has painted this picture of greed and filth and associated it with being plus sized.  We are thought to not have self control. It is said that we are less beautiful than other woman, and are less deserving of love and a good mate. It is thought that we should have to settle for the scraps when it comes to romance.   We are not at all healthy and have no value of life.  We (society) tell our children not to be fat as though it is the same as being a thief or a murderer.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "yes she is pretty, but she is fat" or, "you have a pretty face", I would be rich.  I guess in hearing these things so much, many woman have begin to believe them instead of the truth.  The truth is, bad health is housed in the bodies of both fat and slim woman.  A person's beauty has nothing to do with their size or  face for that matter, it is about who you are on the inside.  Men (real men) are not effected by a woman's size as much as he is her character, personality and intelligence.    We are just as great as any other woman, but each individual PHAT GIRL HAS TO BELIEVE THAT!!!!

Until PHAT GIRLS learn to except the realities of their existence, we will always be on the low end of the totem pole.  The fact is plus size businesses aren't successful because so many PHAT GIRLS are ashamed of who they are.  In a way I think that many PHAT GIRLS feel that supporting "BIG" business means you are OK with being the person that society says we are, which is not true.  We are not that ugly picture at all!!!!  However, the only way to prove them wrong is to embrace who you truly are and not who they have falsely made you out to be.  It is OK to have a desire to be healthy(if you are unhealthy) or to lose weight but no matter what your size is love you and identify with what lies beneath.

Keke, for the past year, I have been trying to start a PHAT GIRL MOVEMENT, because the need is so great.  I am a big bold woman, and it pains me to know that so many of my PHAT GIRLS are afraid to declare the same thing.  I just don't know what give them the right to not be BOLD, FIERCE AND PROUD OF EVERY OUNCE OF THEMSELVES.  I come in contact with so many woman who are waiting to lose weight so that they can get that new hair style, dress up and even go out and have fun.  I try to tell them your size isn't restricting you, you lack of love and confidence for yourself is.  Most PHAT GIRLS are their own worst enemy. I mean really, if you were bold and didn't believe in yourself, do you think the investor would have?  I think not!!!!  It is our duty as bold, beautiful intelligent PHAT GIRLS, to stand up and be heard.  We have to continue to encourage and empower our sisters to love themselves and make no apologies for who they are.

GOODBYE AND HELLO

For those of you who know me on a personal level, you know that I have had a very hard year.  It has been extremely challenging and filled with tears. However, I think that this year in the midst of my storm, I learn somethings that I thought I already knew about myself.  I have always known that I was strong but I learned exactly how strong of a woman I am.  I know that a person's attitude and will can carry them a long way and that is what kept me most of the time.  I was determined to live and not die.  I was determined to enjoy the people that I love and I knew that God would heal my body and my mind.  Yes I said mind, because my mind was just as afflicted as my body.  I was afraid of what I was going through and afraid to speak on it because everyone expects me to be so strong.  I walked around the majority of this year wearing a mask, pretending to be happy and brave when I was sad and scared.  So yes, that had my mind all messed up!!!  I was depressed because at the time I was thinking about what the doctor's thought and not what God PROMISED!!!!  It is funny how the devil slid in and placed all that doubt in my head and sad how I let him.  

Aside from being sick, I had to battle with myself in regards to people, how I treat others, how they treat me, how they perseve me and a number of other things.  What I had to do was realize that there are times when it is alright to be selfish.  There is nothing wrong with looking out for self.  People that are in your life for a season will eventually have to go.  When a person is operating outside of what you believe in, it is OK to let them go.  If you find yourself in a situation where you are unhappy, it is fine to walk away.  I learned that there is no need to subject myself to drama and drama seeker's because that is not who I am.  So during the course of this year I have lost a lot of people not to death but to life and that is great.  It made me a better person and gave me more peace.  Do I hate them, am I mad at them....... NO!!!!  Do I love and care for them, would I be there if they needed me................ YES!!!  However, I don't miss the drama that they brought to my life.  

 I can't say that the entire year was a bust because it wasn't.  I begin to write more and acquire an audience.  I started two businesses, and although they didn't get me in Forbes...... I did profit and gain a great deal of knowledge and experience.  I also learned more of what my purpose is and I begin to travel that path.  I would like to think that I have helped my fellow man along the way as well.  My faith has been renewed and I am stronger than ever.  However, all that sickness, sadness, loniness, doubt, drama and everything else negative.................. I WILL NOT MISS!!!  AND ON THAT NOTE, GOODBYE 2011

HELLO 2012!!!!!!! (YES I AM SCREAMING) I AM VERY PLEASED TO GREET YOU WITH A HEALTH BODY, A CLEAR MIND AND A SMILE THAT WILL BLIND THE SUN.  ALL THAT SWAG, BOLDNESS AND ATITTUDE THAT I LOST IN 2011 IS BACK!!!  I AM READY TO TAKE EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE TO THE NEXT LEVEL; MY BUSINESSES, MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, MY EDUCATION.............. EVERYTHING!!!  IF YOU ARE APART OF MY CIRCLE, READ MY BLOGS OR A FRIEND OF A FRIEND, YOU BETTER GET READY BECAUSE WE ARE HEADED TO THE TOP.  I DON'T WANT TO GO BY MYSELF, I WANT YOU TO GO TOO.  THE WORLD IS GONNA GET TIRED OF ME AND MY MOUTH AND GOD IS GONNA GET TIRED OF ME PRAYING AND PRAISING.  I REFUSE TO START A NEW YEAR WITH THAT OLD MESS, NOT MAUI!!!  MY DREAMS STRECTH SO FAR BEYOND WHAT YOU KNOW OF ME AND I PLAN TO GO FOR ALL OF THEM.  NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT AND ALL THOSE OTHER RESOLUTIONS.  I AM TALKING LIFE AND LIVING IT TO THE FULLEST.  I AM TALKING CAPITOLIZING ON EVERY OPPORTUNITY AND CREATING THE ONE'S THAT AREN'T ALREADY THERE.  I WILL BE GIVING THE WORLD MY OUTLOOK AND IMPUT VIA THE "MAUILOGUES".  I WILL BE EMPOWERING, ENCOURAGING AND INFORMING MY PHAT GIRLS WITH MY "BIGMAMA'S" BLOG.  IF YOU NEED A MAKE-UP ARTIST OR A SKIN CONSULTATION, I CAN GET YOU "ALL DOLLED UP".  ALTHOUGH I ALREADY INTRODUCED THE TEE SHIRT LINE FOR MY PHAT GIRLS AND I APPRECIATED THE PURCHASES,  I WILL BE OFFICIALLY LAUNCHING THE SHIRTS AND INTRODUCING YOU TO "BIGMAMA'S CLOTHING"!!!  SO GET READY FREDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!  FOR ALL THOSE DOUBTER'S AND NAYSAYER'S, KEEP THE NEGATIVITY TO YOURSELF AND STAY OUT OF MY WAY.  YOU CAN EITHER ROLL WITH ME OR GET ROLLED OVER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T STOP A BIG WHEEL(WILL) FOR ROLLING.......... AND MY WILL(WHEEL) IS BIG

GREAT FIND!!!

LADIES, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I LIVE FOR A GOOD COMFORTABLE GIRDLE.  WELL, EARLIER THIS WEEK, WHILE SHOPPING AT TARGET, I FOUND ONE THAT I AM VERY PLEASED WITH.  IT IS A HIGH WAIST SLIMMER BY BARELY THERE.  I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THEY HAVE BEEN CARRYING THEM BUT THEY ARE A BIG MAMA'S BUT FRIEND!!  THEY ARE EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE AND THEY ARE VERY SMOOTH.  THE ONLY CATCH IS THAT THEY HAVE TO GO DOWN A SIZE TO GET VERY GOOD CONTROL.  THIS MEANS IF YOU WEAR A 2X, YOU MAY WANT TO PURCHASE A 1X OR EVEN A LARGE.  HOWEVER WITH THE MAXIMUM PRICE BEING ONLY $14.99, YOU CAN TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A CHANCE.


http://www.target.com/p/Beyond-Bare-By-Barely-There-Seamless-Smoothing-Brief-Assorted-Colors/-/A-12260013



*THE ONE THAT IS DISPLAYED ON THE LINK IS NOT THE ON THAT I PURCHASED, THE ONE I PURCHASED ISN'T SHOWN.  I ONE THAT I AM SPEAKING OF COMES ALL THE WAY UP TO THE BREAST.