Letter to Keke Dillard

Hello Keke, I am writing this in response to your facebook post about the plus size community(https://www.facebook.com/kekedillard?ref=t).  I really appreciate you going there and putting that information out there.  I have been doing my own research and I can say that everything that you stated in your post is factual.  I am a blogger and I am also in the process of opening a boutique in my area, both aimed at plus size woman.  Although I write because it is one of my passions along with fashion, it doesn't always seem promising. My Big-Mama blog is all about and for us(PHAT GIRLS) many times I feel like I am my audience.  My reasoning is that if I am able to write something that will reach, help or inspire one of my plus size sister's, I will be happy and the same goes with fashion.  I think that the problem is that most of the PHAT GIRLS (affectionately used to identify plus size women, by me) have allowed society and it's views get the best of them.  The sad part is that we are hurting ourselves and our kind to please the minority.................

Society has painted this picture of greed and filth and associated it with being plus sized.  We are thought to not have self control. It is said that we are less beautiful than other woman, and are less deserving of love and a good mate. It is thought that we should have to settle for the scraps when it comes to romance.   We are not at all healthy and have no value of life.  We (society) tell our children not to be fat as though it is the same as being a thief or a murderer.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "yes she is pretty, but she is fat" or, "you have a pretty face", I would be rich.  I guess in hearing these things so much, many woman have begin to believe them instead of the truth.  The truth is, bad health is housed in the bodies of both fat and slim woman.  A person's beauty has nothing to do with their size or  face for that matter, it is about who you are on the inside.  Men (real men) are not effected by a woman's size as much as he is her character, personality and intelligence.    We are just as great as any other woman, but each individual PHAT GIRL HAS TO BELIEVE THAT!!!!

Until PHAT GIRLS learn to except the realities of their existence, we will always be on the low end of the totem pole.  The fact is plus size businesses aren't successful because so many PHAT GIRLS are ashamed of who they are.  In a way I think that many PHAT GIRLS feel that supporting "BIG" business means you are OK with being the person that society says we are, which is not true.  We are not that ugly picture at all!!!!  However, the only way to prove them wrong is to embrace who you truly are and not who they have falsely made you out to be.  It is OK to have a desire to be healthy(if you are unhealthy) or to lose weight but no matter what your size is love you and identify with what lies beneath.

Keke, for the past year, I have been trying to start a PHAT GIRL MOVEMENT, because the need is so great.  I am a big bold woman, and it pains me to know that so many of my PHAT GIRLS are afraid to declare the same thing.  I just don't know what give them the right to not be BOLD, FIERCE AND PROUD OF EVERY OUNCE OF THEMSELVES.  I come in contact with so many woman who are waiting to lose weight so that they can get that new hair style, dress up and even go out and have fun.  I try to tell them your size isn't restricting you, you lack of love and confidence for yourself is.  Most PHAT GIRLS are their own worst enemy. I mean really, if you were bold and didn't believe in yourself, do you think the investor would have?  I think not!!!!  It is our duty as bold, beautiful intelligent PHAT GIRLS, to stand up and be heard.  We have to continue to encourage and empower our sisters to love themselves and make no apologies for who they are.

YOU ROCK!!

I have been sitting on this blog for a while for personal reasons, but I am officially ready to unleash.  I know that many people do a lot of bandwagon jumping when different events take place, and I did not want to be one of those people.  However, I have such a strong message attached to the movement.  Now that some of the hype has died down....I am ready to break my silence.  Well let me start by saying that the entire Black Girls Rock movement is great!!!  I think that it is important to continuously applaud and encourage the efforts of our young girls.  However there are so many others who ROCK and who need the same push.  People need to learn to love themselves and identify with what makes them ROCK.  I say it all the time, God created us all with purpose, with that purpose and hard work, we can all ROCK .  I know that all of us aren't bold and out going.  Some of us need that extra push or encouragement, and some are halted by fear.  These things are the reasons I am writing this blog.  


I just think that the Black Girls Rock! movement is amazing and very needed.  Our youth need to know how important and appreciated they are.  Honestly, I think that this holds true for so many people, not just black girls.     White girlS, Black boys, White boys, Men and Women of all races, ages and sizes.  We all need to be encouraged and made to feel important at some point.  There are a lot of people who work hard to make others smile, to make sure that things go and happen the way that they should and all they want is a pat on the back.  Although we all should be aware of our gifts and abilities, some people need to be reminded that they ROCK!!!


Let me tell you, God created us all with purpose and we have been given gift(s).  However, it is up to you to use what you are given.  You may not always have a fan club or cheerleaders, it is up to you to know that you ROCK!!  In order for you to know that you ROCK, you have to identify with why you ROCK!!!  Your positive attitude, your loving nature, your beauty, your compassion for others, all of these things and many others are why you ROCK!!!  What it is important to know is that your situation nor your circumstances make you and they can't break you unless you allow them to.  Many of you know exactly why you ROCK but you allow fear to paralyze you.  As long as you step into the waters, the fear of drowning no longer controls you no matter what happens from that point on.  The devil and all the naysayers want you to let fear control you.  They want you to believe that you don't ROCK.  They want you to give up on God's promise, but you got to keep it moving!!!


YOU ROCK!!!  AND I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH!!  TAP INTO YOU GREATNESS AND MAKE YOUR MEANINGFUL IMPACT ON THE WORLD......................  WE ARE WAITING!!! AND IF NO ONE ELSE TELLS YOU.........................YOU ROCK!!!!!