BEAUTIFUL YOU

It really saddens me that some of the most beautiful people second guess themselves because of others.  Just because others see you differently doesn't make you any less fabulous.  Society is set up to make us feel as though we have to be perfect but no one is.  No one will ever be blessed enough to be excepted fully by everyone.  No matter who you please, in spite of who embraces your talent and beauty, there will be someone who has an issue.  Since this is our reality, why not cut the middle men(women) out and opt to just be happy on your own terms.  Except the reality of your existence and be as fabulous as God intended for you to be.

I know that people see me as this strong, confident, beautiful intelligent woman(well that what I have been told).  However, I have not always been this way.  I went through a period in which I thought I was ugly, fat and unworthy of any thing great.  I felt as though I had no purpose. I literally had to learn to love myself.  I had to come to terms with the reality of my existence.  I had to stand face to face with myself.  I know that sounds easy but it is not.  In no way is it easy to dissect yourself, but that is exactly what I did.  I opened myself up and extracted both the good and the bad and then analyzed it.  Some of the things that I thought were bad were good, and some of the things I thought were good were bad.  Of course the good needed no adjusting but the bad had to be reckoned with.  Why was I  mean?  Why was I a fighter?  Why was I depressed?  Why was I sad? What I came up with was probably the same thing many of you would come up with if you did the same.... It is not you that has made you second guess yourself, it is society.  

Society has made us believe so many lies and these lies ultimately tear us down.  You know what I mean..........  if you aren't a size 3 you are fat, and if you are fat you are worthless.  If you don't look a certain way, you are ugly or if you don't have certain material items you are irrelevant. However, as I said before, these are all lies!!!  You don't have to conform to be beautiful, all you have to do is BE.

Stop letting others make you feel like your not whatever it is that you know you are.  If you know that you are a beautiful, intelligent person, be that person.  Be bold about who you are and what you possess.
If you aren't proud, appreciative or in tune with who are, you can't live...... You just exist.  Life is so much happier when you live out loud.  Society my have its standards but when you say to the world; this is me, I make no apologies or excuses for who I am, I love that person that I see in the mirror and I am not going away, the world had two options. The first option is to see you for who you are and love you.  The second is remain ignorant and closed minded and respect you. 

So with all of that being said, in spite of your imperfections....... YOU BETTA WERK!!!  Stut as if you are a peacock!! Let the world know, I am here, I am beautiful and I refuse to be denied!!! 

Letter to Keke Dillard

Hello Keke, I am writing this in response to your facebook post about the plus size community(https://www.facebook.com/kekedillard?ref=t).  I really appreciate you going there and putting that information out there.  I have been doing my own research and I can say that everything that you stated in your post is factual.  I am a blogger and I am also in the process of opening a boutique in my area, both aimed at plus size woman.  Although I write because it is one of my passions along with fashion, it doesn't always seem promising. My Big-Mama blog is all about and for us(PHAT GIRLS) many times I feel like I am my audience.  My reasoning is that if I am able to write something that will reach, help or inspire one of my plus size sister's, I will be happy and the same goes with fashion.  I think that the problem is that most of the PHAT GIRLS (affectionately used to identify plus size women, by me) have allowed society and it's views get the best of them.  The sad part is that we are hurting ourselves and our kind to please the minority.................

Society has painted this picture of greed and filth and associated it with being plus sized.  We are thought to not have self control. It is said that we are less beautiful than other woman, and are less deserving of love and a good mate. It is thought that we should have to settle for the scraps when it comes to romance.   We are not at all healthy and have no value of life.  We (society) tell our children not to be fat as though it is the same as being a thief or a murderer.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "yes she is pretty, but she is fat" or, "you have a pretty face", I would be rich.  I guess in hearing these things so much, many woman have begin to believe them instead of the truth.  The truth is, bad health is housed in the bodies of both fat and slim woman.  A person's beauty has nothing to do with their size or  face for that matter, it is about who you are on the inside.  Men (real men) are not effected by a woman's size as much as he is her character, personality and intelligence.    We are just as great as any other woman, but each individual PHAT GIRL HAS TO BELIEVE THAT!!!!

Until PHAT GIRLS learn to except the realities of their existence, we will always be on the low end of the totem pole.  The fact is plus size businesses aren't successful because so many PHAT GIRLS are ashamed of who they are.  In a way I think that many PHAT GIRLS feel that supporting "BIG" business means you are OK with being the person that society says we are, which is not true.  We are not that ugly picture at all!!!!  However, the only way to prove them wrong is to embrace who you truly are and not who they have falsely made you out to be.  It is OK to have a desire to be healthy(if you are unhealthy) or to lose weight but no matter what your size is love you and identify with what lies beneath.

Keke, for the past year, I have been trying to start a PHAT GIRL MOVEMENT, because the need is so great.  I am a big bold woman, and it pains me to know that so many of my PHAT GIRLS are afraid to declare the same thing.  I just don't know what give them the right to not be BOLD, FIERCE AND PROUD OF EVERY OUNCE OF THEMSELVES.  I come in contact with so many woman who are waiting to lose weight so that they can get that new hair style, dress up and even go out and have fun.  I try to tell them your size isn't restricting you, you lack of love and confidence for yourself is.  Most PHAT GIRLS are their own worst enemy. I mean really, if you were bold and didn't believe in yourself, do you think the investor would have?  I think not!!!!  It is our duty as bold, beautiful intelligent PHAT GIRLS, to stand up and be heard.  We have to continue to encourage and empower our sisters to love themselves and make no apologies for who they are.

P.H.A.T GIRL FRIDAY

WELL LADIES, AS IT WILL BE EVERY FRIDAY....... TODAY IS P.H.A.T(PRETTY HOT AND TEMPTING) FRIDAY!!!  NO SAD OR BAD NEWS.  NO DEEP THOUGHT PROVOKING TOPIC AND MOST OF ALL NO TEARJERKERS!!!  JUST HAPPINESS AND ENCOURAGING WORDS!!!!!!  


ON THIS P.H.A.T GIRL FRIDAY, I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO CELEBRATE YOU IN ALL OF YOUR SPLENDOR. CELEBRATE WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU THE AMAZING PERSON YOU KNOW YOU ARE.  DO SOMETHING IN HONOR OF WHO YOU ARE, SOMETHING THAT BRINGS YOU JOY.  THERE IS A TIME FOR SELFISHNESS, DURING THAT TIME IT SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT YOU.  YOUR HAPPINESS IS REQUIRED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES WHO DEPEND ON YOU.  HAPPIER YOU ARE, THE MORE YOUR BEAUTY RADIATES.  I WANT YOU TO ALL KNOW THAT YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO BE AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU DESIRE.  OUR TRUE BEAUTY HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR PHYSICAL FEATURES BUT WHAT IS EMBEDDED IN US THAT RADIATES OUTWARD.  OUR TRUE BEAUTY IS REALLY WHAT DEFINES US AND ALLOW THE WORLD THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING WHO WE TRULY ARE.