BAG LADY

It is so important that woman learn not to be bag ladies.  Many of us tend to carry the baggage of our men, family and friends.  When we aren't carrying that baggage, we are carrying the baggage of the past. It doesn't matter what type of woman you are or from what social status you hail............... WE HAVE ALL HAD SOME SORT OF BAGGAGE!!!!  Many women who consider themselves "classy and/or high dollar" tend to think that their struggle is different from the common woman.  However, it is not!!! BAGGAGE IS BAGGAGE, WHETHER IT IS IN A GUCCI BAG OR A PAPER BAG.... Baggage will do one of two things or both.  It will either SLOW YOU DOWN OR WEIGH YOU DOWN!!!

 I myself and one of those women that carries a lot of other peoples baggage.  I am a very caring and concerned person when it comes to my loved ones.  Many times I get entangled in their lives and their problems.  I am working very hard to bring this to a minimum because it is damaging.  I have lost
connections with a few key people because of this.  It isn't that I am nosy or controlling but I want the best for them.  I just want to help my loved ones.  I want them to be as happy as I am if not happier.  However, I have learned that it isn't my job nor am I capable of doing this. I have learned that you have to let people find their own peace in whatever situation they are in.  You can not create happiness for those that you love.........  Happiness comes with the security and comfort that each individual finds with themselves.   People evolve in their own time, not the time that we want them to.  Hell, If you spend too much time worrying about what they have going on, you will neglect your star player................. You!!!  So now when people come to me with issues, I listen and give advice but I don't get all entangled in it.........  As a friend my job is to be there for them no matter what, not to take over the situation and solve the problem.

We all know that God created women to be nurtures and we are very emotional as well.  This is why many times we find ourselves fighting battles that are not ours, especially with the men in our lives.  Often men use the caring nature of some women to their advantage.  They latch on to women that are "good" and that will be good to them.  Men come with baggage, drama and an assortment of issues just like woman.  Many times they enter into relationships or situations with women knowing that their affairs are in total disarray.  And because we (woman) are such nurturing creatures, we put it in our bag......... All that baby mama drama, the woos of not being able to find a job, not having the money needed for certain things, family issues, friend issues, illegal activities............................. AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!!!!  We have to learn when to say when.  It is one thing to support your man but it is another to carry all of his burdens. Be mindful about loading your bag up with his shit because you may get stuck with it all.  I mean honestly what can you expect from a man that enters into a relationship with bags and bags of bullshit? 

Often it is hard for woman to be happy because of the baggage that they carry from the past.  You can not hold an individual accountable for the actions of another.  You have to learn from each experience that you have and move on when it is time.  This holds true for both friendships and relationships.  I know that I have opted out of being friends with co-worker and other females for years.  For no reason other than the fact that I have had bad experiences with a great number of woman.  Now that I think about it, that is baggage from my past too.  The same thing holds true for relationships...... You can not enter into a relationship placing your new man under the same umbrella that your old men are under.  If you want to find true happiness, you have to let go of your past.  Your past can and will haunt you if you allow it to.  All of that baggage will keep you from being happy with yourself.  All that baggage will make you unlovable.  All of that baggage will cost you friends and family.  Most of all, I will take away your peace.

WOMAN WE ARE POWERFUL BEINGS AND IT IS IMPORTANT THAT WE ACT AS SUCH.  NOTHING AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE THE POWER TO SLOW US DOWN AND/ OR HOLD US DOWN.  IF IT IS SOMEONE ELSE'S TRASH, IT WILL NEVER BE YOUR TREASURE!!!  WHETHER IT IS A GUCCI BAG OR A PAPER BAG, EMPTY THAT SHIT...... YOUR BACK WILL THANK YOU!!

BEAUTIFUL YOU

It really saddens me that some of the most beautiful people second guess themselves because of others.  Just because others see you differently doesn't make you any less fabulous.  Society is set up to make us feel as though we have to be perfect but no one is.  No one will ever be blessed enough to be excepted fully by everyone.  No matter who you please, in spite of who embraces your talent and beauty, there will be someone who has an issue.  Since this is our reality, why not cut the middle men(women) out and opt to just be happy on your own terms.  Except the reality of your existence and be as fabulous as God intended for you to be.

I know that people see me as this strong, confident, beautiful intelligent woman(well that what I have been told).  However, I have not always been this way.  I went through a period in which I thought I was ugly, fat and unworthy of any thing great.  I felt as though I had no purpose. I literally had to learn to love myself.  I had to come to terms with the reality of my existence.  I had to stand face to face with myself.  I know that sounds easy but it is not.  In no way is it easy to dissect yourself, but that is exactly what I did.  I opened myself up and extracted both the good and the bad and then analyzed it.  Some of the things that I thought were bad were good, and some of the things I thought were good were bad.  Of course the good needed no adjusting but the bad had to be reckoned with.  Why was I  mean?  Why was I a fighter?  Why was I depressed?  Why was I sad? What I came up with was probably the same thing many of you would come up with if you did the same.... It is not you that has made you second guess yourself, it is society.  

Society has made us believe so many lies and these lies ultimately tear us down.  You know what I mean..........  if you aren't a size 3 you are fat, and if you are fat you are worthless.  If you don't look a certain way, you are ugly or if you don't have certain material items you are irrelevant. However, as I said before, these are all lies!!!  You don't have to conform to be beautiful, all you have to do is BE.

Stop letting others make you feel like your not whatever it is that you know you are.  If you know that you are a beautiful, intelligent person, be that person.  Be bold about who you are and what you possess.
If you aren't proud, appreciative or in tune with who are, you can't live...... You just exist.  Life is so much happier when you live out loud.  Society my have its standards but when you say to the world; this is me, I make no apologies or excuses for who I am, I love that person that I see in the mirror and I am not going away, the world had two options. The first option is to see you for who you are and love you.  The second is remain ignorant and closed minded and respect you. 

So with all of that being said, in spite of your imperfections....... YOU BETTA WERK!!!  Stut as if you are a peacock!! Let the world know, I am here, I am beautiful and I refuse to be denied!!! 

YOU ROCK!!

I have been sitting on this blog for a while for personal reasons, but I am officially ready to unleash.  I know that many people do a lot of bandwagon jumping when different events take place, and I did not want to be one of those people.  However, I have such a strong message attached to the movement.  Now that some of the hype has died down....I am ready to break my silence.  Well let me start by saying that the entire Black Girls Rock movement is great!!!  I think that it is important to continuously applaud and encourage the efforts of our young girls.  However there are so many others who ROCK and who need the same push.  People need to learn to love themselves and identify with what makes them ROCK.  I say it all the time, God created us all with purpose, with that purpose and hard work, we can all ROCK .  I know that all of us aren't bold and out going.  Some of us need that extra push or encouragement, and some are halted by fear.  These things are the reasons I am writing this blog.  


I just think that the Black Girls Rock! movement is amazing and very needed.  Our youth need to know how important and appreciated they are.  Honestly, I think that this holds true for so many people, not just black girls.     White girlS, Black boys, White boys, Men and Women of all races, ages and sizes.  We all need to be encouraged and made to feel important at some point.  There are a lot of people who work hard to make others smile, to make sure that things go and happen the way that they should and all they want is a pat on the back.  Although we all should be aware of our gifts and abilities, some people need to be reminded that they ROCK!!!


Let me tell you, God created us all with purpose and we have been given gift(s).  However, it is up to you to use what you are given.  You may not always have a fan club or cheerleaders, it is up to you to know that you ROCK!!  In order for you to know that you ROCK, you have to identify with why you ROCK!!!  Your positive attitude, your loving nature, your beauty, your compassion for others, all of these things and many others are why you ROCK!!!  What it is important to know is that your situation nor your circumstances make you and they can't break you unless you allow them to.  Many of you know exactly why you ROCK but you allow fear to paralyze you.  As long as you step into the waters, the fear of drowning no longer controls you no matter what happens from that point on.  The devil and all the naysayers want you to let fear control you.  They want you to believe that you don't ROCK.  They want you to give up on God's promise, but you got to keep it moving!!!


YOU ROCK!!!  AND I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH!!  TAP INTO YOU GREATNESS AND MAKE YOUR MEANINGFUL IMPACT ON THE WORLD......................  WE ARE WAITING!!! AND IF NO ONE ELSE TELLS YOU.........................YOU ROCK!!!!!